"Tips" Archives | Page 6 of 18 | The Restaurant Manifesto

Waiters don’t want to ask about your water preference. We have to. Make it easier for us to establish whether you like tap or bottled water by sparing us the editorial commentary. Replying with “[Insert city] has the best tap water in the country,” for example, is extraneous information that does not concern us. Prefacing asking for tap water with your mayor’s name (ie. DeBlasio Water in New York City) is played out and will not elicit any reaction from your server except scorn. Sharing your ethical attitudes about the environmental impact of bottled water is also a waste of breath. We are working in a restaurant to make money not to save the whales. A simple “I’m fine with tap” will help us move forward together to more important things like alcohol and food.

Restaurants Don’t Owe You Black Napkins

It’s perfectly fine to ask if a restaurant has black napkins. It is not fine to act as though you’ve been wronged if one isn’t provided. Acting outraged is pretentious. Typically, a fine dining restaurant will offer one when a member of the staff sees a dark outfit. Otherwise, you’ll have to do with the simple white ones. Of course, they might track lint all over your beautiful black dress, but that doesn’t make it inconsiderate of the restaurant to supply only standard napkins. Look, we understand they gave you a black napkin that one time you went to The French Laundry, but you’re not in Napa Valley anymore so get over it. Restaurants run on a tight budget, and there is rarely room for providing multi-color napkins for their guests.